Winter is Coming: 4 Tips for Preparing for Winter and Reframing Your Relationship with the Colder Months
by Charlie Stone and Maegan Lovell
Do you feel that? A slight chill in the air and the wafting nostalgia everywhere?! Will you be mournful? Sad? Worried? Waiting? Bored? Cold?
We know that winter is going to be here every year without fail, so how can we prepare? Animals can spend months preparing for winter and many people and cultures in the world spend time preparing too. What would it look like for you to shift into this season intentionally?
Tip # 1 : Reframe Your Thinking
Winter can feel like a time of loss. We’ve lost the daylight hours, the warmth, maybe a lot of the activities that we like to do and it can feel like we are waiting for it to be over. But if we do this every year, we are spending 25% or more of the year just waiting. While there is certainly nothing wrong with hanging out on the couch watching movies, as therapists, it's common to hear folks express feelings of shame or guilt for 'doing nothing'.
What could happen if we allowed room for possibilities of what could fill this time, rather than feeling shame? It's the time of year when we're typically spending more time indoors in our homes, so it might be helpful to ask ourselves what we can gain from that. Maybe we just haven't figured out what we want during this time! Is it time to start a new hobby or craft that you've always wanted to? Or return to a hobby from your past? A series of books you’ve wanted to read or write yourself? If we shift our intention from guilt or loss to practicing gratitude and intention for the slower moments, even if it feels 'forced' at first, we will instead begin to reap the benefits of the rest! Remember, this is a practice and may take time, so be gentle with yourself.
Tip # 2: Honor Your Needs
A recent study has shown that many humans need more sleep in the winter. What does it mean to honor our need for rest and the impacts of the lack of daylight? Are we fighting this or leaning into it in ways that we can? Under capitalism, there is pressure to constantly and consistently be producing and achieving, but it's unrealistic to expect our productivity to stay the same throughout the year and our lives, not to mention it's unsustainable. We all have different needs for different times in our lives. Perhaps it would be helpful to spend time considering what you need in the winter. What challenges does the winter bring? Here are some questions to guide you in identifying your needs:
Do you need more connection?
Do you need more hobbies?
Do you need less commitments?
Do you need more accessible meals?
Do you need more structured time?
Do you need season-based interests?
Do you need new things to look forward to?
Do you need more or less external pressure to leave the house?
Tip # 3: Lean into Seasonality & Curate Coziness
Different times of year bring multitudes of possibilities - consider what you look forward to during the changing seasons. Winter and the holidays can feel nostalgic, possibly because they can feel fleeting. What are things that we can't access as easily or at all other times of year? We can lean into the season in ways that feel meaningful. This could look like having your meals in alignment with seasonally available ingredients, cozying up with a book or craft, going for walks or drives to look at holiday decorations, the changing colors of the trees, or integrating new activities into your routine. Perhaps having a cup of tea to celebrate the end of the day, or going for a walk with your dog during lunchtime. If we can treat summer as an opportunity, how do we do that for the colder months?
Here are some ideas for leaning into the season:
Walk or drive to check out holiday decorations or the changing colors of the trees.
Planning meals based on what's seasonally available or trying new fruits or veggies that are available during the winter.
Adding seasonal treats! Like pumpkin or peppermint-based things!
Having your media consumption follow the seasons.
Shaking up your walking routine to maximize time outside while it's light out.
Investing in curating your space to be more cozy.
Trying new hobbies like learning to knit or exploring a new language.
Host a gathering like a game night or movie night.
Download the Libby app and use your library card to listen to audio books or read books online.
Consider taking a class! Virtual and in person cooking, ceramics, and dance classes might be something worth trying out.
Try dopamine dressing! Dopamine dressing is essentially the idea of trying to dress in ways that can positively impact our mood and sense of self. Seasonal dopamine dressing can also give us something to look forward to. Do you love wearing layers? Do you have a pair of boots that are your favorite? Do you love knitting and want to be able to wear the cool scarf you made? Head over to the thrift store and see what catches your eye!
Tip # 4: Coping with Family Stress & Financial Pressure
For some, Winter means holidays and inevitably more time with loved ones, for better or worse. The awareness that we will be spending more time with our family can be ...stressful, to say the least. This is your reminder that stress is not inherently bad. It can inform us of what we need! Just like preparing ourselves for the winter is useful self-care, preparing to spend time with our relatives can help reduce toxic stress and build our confidence! Not to mention, it's a solid life skill to cultivate for any time of the year. Before we get into the swing of the season, maybe spend some time reflecting and outlining what you are actually comfortable with. This could mean: time, money, topics of conversation, physical boundaries, and the locations in which you are comfortable! There is no right way to exist during this season (or any, for that matter). With awareness of our comfort levels, we cultivate more trust with ourselves to learn the difference between a 'yes! I'll be there' and a 'Nah, I don't have capacity for that right now'. Learning to say no makes our yeses much sweeter.
Many people feel pressure to spend money during the fall/winter for holidays or travel, and it can be a point of stress in our lives. If we know that we are going to be faced with anxiety and stress around money every year, it could be an opportunity to understand yourself and your relationship to money better. You can read more about understanding financial wellness here.
Nedra Tawwab's book 'Drama Free' discusses ways to create boundaries that honor everyone's needs.
What is SAD vs natural 'wintering'
There are lots of jokes this time of year about the impending seasonal depression. While Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a real thing, humans also go through natural wintering cycles as well. Our culture does a good job of telling us we need to be high energy and high productivity all of the time (hello, capitalism). But what's true is that doesn't happen in nature, and it's, well, natural, to feel a little bit different in the winter than we do in the spring and summer. SAD is a type of depression that is characterized by recurrent seasonal patterns, with symptoms usually lasting 4-5 months out of the year, and symptoms are reduced when the season changes again. Of course, there is stress in the winter as well, but that pattern is typically more tied to calendar dates and the time of year, while SAD is associated with a change in daylight hours, and symptoms can be attributed to the seasonal change. Because of these seasonal changes, people may feel:
More fatigued or sleep difficulties
More impacted by working during the daylight hours
More socially withdrawn and an increase in rejection sensitivity
Lack of interest in hobbies
Brain fog
When mammals naturally shift into winter, they have lower energy and productivity levels, so don't be surprised if you notice a shift too - it's normal! Cultivating more awareness and clarity on the seasonal changes we experience empowers us to address them more directly when they cause suffering. If the winter is making a significant negative or difficult impact on your mental wellness year after year, consider chatting with a healthcare provider!
We have therapists with immediate openings for in person clients in Seattle, or virtual clients across Washington. Click here to get started on setting up a free 20 minute consultation.
Additional tips & tricks for the winter:
Even if it’s a quick walk to pick up lunch, making a phone call or just taking some breaths, getting some fresh air and a few minutes in the daylight can be helpful!
Some people love sunlamps! Either the kind you can turn on during the day or a sunrise alarm clock.
Do your depressive symptoms get worse in the winter and you're not already in therapy? That might be a great time to seek or start care!
Embrace the cozy and fill your space with lots of twinkly lights, candles, and blankets.
Reading for the Season
Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May
Grooving with the idea of intentional rest? This may be a good book for you! Bonus comfort points if you listen to the audio book, which has a narrator with a British accent.
Rest Is Resistance by Tricia Hersey
Author Tricia Hersey, the self-proclaimed Nap Bishop, introduces us to the idea of disrupting the systems of capitalism and white supremacy with the radical practice of resting.
How to Do Nothing by Jenny Odell
Feeling uncomfortable not being "productive" or resistance to rest? This book may be helpful in challenging some of these ideas!
Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price
Author Devon Price introduces the 'laziness lie' - the belief that productivity is more valuable than productivity.
Drama Free by Nedra Glover Tawwab
The absolute POWERHOUSE Nedra Glover Tawwab teaches us how to identify and break dysfunctional family patterns. She offers practical, specific advice, including scripts for how to create and respond to boundaries.
The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why it Matters by Priya Parker
Struggle with hosting parties or groups want to feel more well-equipped for bringing people together? This book is a guide for how to create more meaningful gatherings.
Cozy Reads
Season of Love by Helena Greer
This queer romcom takes place on a Christmas tree farm in upstate New York. Including a cozy sapphic enemies-to-lovers story and touches family trauma and how complicated families can be! If this Jewish family's Christmas tree farm love story doesn't sound good to you, there are a ton of seasonal romcoms out there!
The Guest List by Lucy Foley
Among many stormy mysteries out there, this one takes place on an island off the coast of Ireland for a wedding you'll never forget!
Mrs. Quinn’s Rise to Fame by Olivia Ford
This cozy read is about a woman in her 70s who applies for a British baking show...but as her popularity rises, her oldest secret is threatened to be revealed.
Winter Solstice by Rosamunde Pilcher
This is a quiet novel about found family, love, and an eclectic group who find their way to an estate in Scotland as Winter approaches
A Psalm for the Wild Built by Becky Chambers
This sci-fi novella tells the story of Sibling Dex, who is unsatisfied with their life. When they decide to become a tea monk, they will travel around and serve people tea to address their specific needs. This cozy world will feel like a warm hug, and explores what it means to really be 'alive'.